Every once in awhile, if you are lucky, you will find a person who is a friend for life. I was lucky enough to have such a person in my life. I was even luckier, that I had the distinct privelege of calling him my dad. My dad, Skip, was born 66 years ago today; August, 16th, 1944. He was the youngest of 6 born in Minonk, IL. He was born to his dad, Isadore, who worked for Illinois Central Railroad and to his mother, Minnie, who was a house-wife. He came from a small town in Woodford County.
Anyone that knew my dad Skip knew that he and I were inseparable. We were like peanut butter and jelly, we just fit. I was his baby girl, we had a bond that couldn't be broken. Even as I ascended into adulthood, he was always there to guide me. My dad had a big heart. I look upon this day as bittersweet....In the past it was always sweet as it meant celebrating another year of having my dad. When I was younger, I would often on his birthday wait for him to get home from work, being dropped off from carpooling. I would stand on the patio: streamers/"Happy Birthday" signs out, me in a costume and as he would pull up and get out of the car, I would have my music ready and perform a dance routine that I had made up, showing off my dance lessons.
This will be the 3rd year my dad has not been here to celebrate his birthday with me. I guess by now you would think I would be used to it. I'm not. In fact, if it's possible I miss him more than I ever did. My dad passed away on March 30, 2008 at 64 years old of Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS). I think the first year, I spend much of it in shock or trying to be there for my mom. The second year much of it spent in denial. As what will be the 3rd year without Skip on his birthday and this March what will be the 3rd year anniversary of his death, I think it finally has set in that he's not here. Don't get me wrong, I always have known he was not coming back, but I just shoved it aside as I continued on with the motions of life.
This year, unlike the first two, I miss my dad and have needed him more than ever. Don't get me wrong, my mother and friends/family have been there for me in ways I never dreamed. However, in all respect, nobody holds a candle to the way my dad was there for me. Often times, words were not necessary...he knew what I was thinking, feeling and what I would do before I did it. I know, because of my belief in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, that my dad is still there for me...just in a different way and form. I try to think of what he would want and tell me to do. Sometimes I feel like I have let him down. But all-in-all, I still at the end of the day think he'd be proud of me and how far I've come all by myself. I know he'd be proud.
My dad was always someone who gave and gave of himself. This year, I have given my dad a birthday gift, a couple really. The first 'birthday' gift for my dad this year is the fact that he had bought a scale for me Christmas 2007, the last Christmas I would celebrate with him. I went to weigh on it. Embarrassingly, it would not weigh me. I felt like I had let my dad down. He traded me scales:he took mine and I took his, as his would weigh me. He told me when I got my weight down soon, we would trade back. What he didn't know at the time, was that after his death, my weight would balloon even more and I would be unable to weigh on the scale that was his that we traded. So the first birthday gift for my dad is that can I weigh on his scale (that he gave me when I had got bigger and couldn't weigh on the one he bought me). Not only that, but as of this past Friday (August 14th, 2010) I can proudly say the other part to his birthday gift, is that I can weigh on the scale he bought me. I guess he was right....he would get his old scale back...I figure better late than never. To date I have lost 70.3lbs. The second gift for his birthday, is that with the weight loss and his death, I realize just how precious life is. It can be taken from us in a second. He'd want me to live it well and enjoy it. I am doing just that:speed bumps and all.
There is a quote by Oprah that says, "Every birthday, you decide whether to mark it the end of your greatest days or the beginning of your finest hour." I hope this is the beginning of my finest hour!!
Anyone that knew my dad Skip knew that he and I were inseparable. We were like peanut butter and jelly, we just fit. I was his baby girl, we had a bond that couldn't be broken. Even as I ascended into adulthood, he was always there to guide me. My dad had a big heart. I look upon this day as bittersweet....In the past it was always sweet as it meant celebrating another year of having my dad. When I was younger, I would often on his birthday wait for him to get home from work, being dropped off from carpooling. I would stand on the patio: streamers/"Happy Birthday" signs out, me in a costume and as he would pull up and get out of the car, I would have my music ready and perform a dance routine that I had made up, showing off my dance lessons.
This will be the 3rd year my dad has not been here to celebrate his birthday with me. I guess by now you would think I would be used to it. I'm not. In fact, if it's possible I miss him more than I ever did. My dad passed away on March 30, 2008 at 64 years old of Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS). I think the first year, I spend much of it in shock or trying to be there for my mom. The second year much of it spent in denial. As what will be the 3rd year without Skip on his birthday and this March what will be the 3rd year anniversary of his death, I think it finally has set in that he's not here. Don't get me wrong, I always have known he was not coming back, but I just shoved it aside as I continued on with the motions of life.
This year, unlike the first two, I miss my dad and have needed him more than ever. Don't get me wrong, my mother and friends/family have been there for me in ways I never dreamed. However, in all respect, nobody holds a candle to the way my dad was there for me. Often times, words were not necessary...he knew what I was thinking, feeling and what I would do before I did it. I know, because of my belief in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, that my dad is still there for me...just in a different way and form. I try to think of what he would want and tell me to do. Sometimes I feel like I have let him down. But all-in-all, I still at the end of the day think he'd be proud of me and how far I've come all by myself. I know he'd be proud.
My dad was always someone who gave and gave of himself. This year, I have given my dad a birthday gift, a couple really. The first 'birthday' gift for my dad this year is the fact that he had bought a scale for me Christmas 2007, the last Christmas I would celebrate with him. I went to weigh on it. Embarrassingly, it would not weigh me. I felt like I had let my dad down. He traded me scales:he took mine and I took his, as his would weigh me. He told me when I got my weight down soon, we would trade back. What he didn't know at the time, was that after his death, my weight would balloon even more and I would be unable to weigh on the scale that was his that we traded. So the first birthday gift for my dad is that can I weigh on his scale (that he gave me when I had got bigger and couldn't weigh on the one he bought me). Not only that, but as of this past Friday (August 14th, 2010) I can proudly say the other part to his birthday gift, is that I can weigh on the scale he bought me. I guess he was right....he would get his old scale back...I figure better late than never. To date I have lost 70.3lbs. The second gift for his birthday, is that with the weight loss and his death, I realize just how precious life is. It can be taken from us in a second. He'd want me to live it well and enjoy it. I am doing just that:speed bumps and all.
There is a quote by Oprah that says, "Every birthday, you decide whether to mark it the end of your greatest days or the beginning of your finest hour." I hope this is the beginning of my finest hour!!
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